10 Tips
Emotions
can run high during a divorce. The feelings of betrayal and anger
can become all-consuming. I developed the following ten tips
to
serve
as
a guideline as you prepare for your case and life after divorce:
1. Put
Your Children’s Interests First
The divorce or separation is not only about you and your spouse.
It also involves your children who are undergoing a major disruption
in their lives. In order to minimize this disruption to your children,
it is important to put their interests first.
2. Control
Your Anger
When anger is not controlled it becomes very destructive and counterproductive.
Screaming at the opposing party, yelling in the courthouse and
at the lawyers and judges are very ineffective tactics and harmful to your
case.
3.
Take the High Road and Do Not Be Vindictive
Nothing positive can be accomplished when you adopt a vindictive
attitude. In fact, it causes more harm than good especially to
you and your children.
4. Accept
the Fact that Change is Occurring
Divorce or separation is comparable to a death or loss. It is the
disintegration and reformation of a family structure. You need
to grieve the loss, accept the fact that change is occurring and
move on.
5.
Seek Counseling When Necessary
Counseling can be very helpful to many people to help them explore
why the divorce or separation is occurring and to express their
feelings. It is especially useful for those who are having trouble
accepting the divorce or separation and cannot control their anger.
6. Maintain
a Good Support Network
Since divorce or separation is such a stressful and difficult period,
it is important that you spend time with your friends and family
and not isolate yourself.
7. Do
Not Lose Sight of the Forest for the Trees
Do not get bogged down on the little things and instead, focus
on the long term bigger picture. In other words, you can win the
little battles and end up losing the war. Concentrate on what is
best for you in the long run and let go of the little things.
8. Be
Honest
There is a limit as to what you will be able to accomplish if you
are not honest. Your lawyer will be limited in his/her ability
to assist you if you are not candid with him/her. A judge will
not rule in your favor if you lack credibility. In fact, if you
lie under oath in the courtroom, then you have committed the criminal offense of perjury.
9. Do
Your Homework
Learn as much as possible about the legal process and be an active
participant. The more that you educate your lawyer on what you
want, what occurred in the relationship and what the financial
situation is, the better your lawyer can assist you.
10. Seek
the Advice of a Good Lawyer
Seek the advice of a lawyer, such as myself, who has had several years of experience
in the field of family law and listen to what he/she has to say.
It is important that you are aware of what your options are so
that you can make an intelligent decision as to what to do in your
case.
Call for a no-cost initial phone consultation
1-860-228-9716
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